Imposter syndrome is the constant fear of exposure and rejection divorced from the facts. Symptoms include depression, anxiety, fear of failure, and it can be debilitating when these feelings take over. How to overcome Imposter Syndrome? Below we have five ways to increase self-esteem, rewrite your personal script, and take action when confronted with these feelings. The best way to stop
Recognize the Feelings
In order to stop feeling like an imposter, you need to stop thinking like an imposter but sometimes the thoughts and the feelings are too intertwined to separate. Go with your gut. Do you have feelings in your stomach when you are triggered in situations that challenge you or where you are afraid of making a mistake? Are these feelings similar to when you are in situations of perceived danger? Bring awareness to the areas of your body that are affected physically, whether it is your stomach or your muscles that tense up. Address the physical reaction with slow breathing, ten seconds inhale, ten seconds exhale, five times to recalibrate, then go into your feelings.
Step away and separate feelings from facts
Once you have calmed your physiological response and are in your feelings, start to separate your feelings from the facts. I have counseled some of the brightest talents in LA and many of them suffer from imposter syndrome. Why? They feel that they will be exposed as not enough. Say they are from a small town or they had parents that were not supportive of them, they can be severely limited by negative self-talk from youth or from the perception of being less. When these limiting beliefs take overtake your mind and body, ground yourself in the facts. What are your actual accomplishments? Who are you really comparing yourself to, and do you have all of the facts about how they feel?
Pep Talk
As you are grounding yourself in the facts of your reality, pay attention to how you are talking to yourself and if you are doing this with a friend or therapist, which I highly recommend, pay attention to how you are talking about yourself. Are you using nice words or are you really being mean? Talking to another person about this is the best way to immediately see how you are being unfair to yourself and another person will be able to help you challenge your negative or limiting beliefs that keep operating and taking over your feelings.
Rewrite your Script with Affirmations
Now that you, with the help of a friend, have calmed yourself, separated facts from underperforming fictions, and hopefully are in a relaxed state, start to rewrite your script. Think back to the times when you were debilitated, what language were you using? What did your friend have to say about some of the negative things you were saying? Were these all rooted in fact? Now, write all of these things down, and rephrase them into positive affirmations. If you are unfamiliar with some affirmations, I highly recommend simple Youtube videos or affirmations from Louise Hay. Come up with your own affirmations that you are safe, you are doing the best you can, that comparing yourself to others when you do not know how they feel is unproductive, and that your feelings of fear are ok to have when they are rooted in the facts.
Reimagine Goals
What happens when you still feel, rooted in facts, that you are not enough. The truth is you are always enough. Just as you are. Understanding your trauma and feelings of low self-esteem take time and if it feels comfortable to put yourself down, you will naturally do that, but there is help. Therapy is one way to be able to deal more effectively with imposter syndrome and increase self-esteem, but another you can practice at home is goal setting. Visualize how you want to feel. A tip for visualizations is to make them as clear as possible so there are smells, sights, sounds, and physical bodily sensations that accompany this peace with your achievements. Then write down simple steps for these goals. These should be dynamic and like stake posts where you will succeed more one day than another, but that you work towards being in this state of your visualization.
How to overcome imposter syndrome? In closing, the best way to overcome this is to follow these steps to work on your self-esteem and remain as present as possible in your facts, while building yourself up and visualizing your best future. If you struggle with low self-esteem and would like professional help. My doors are open.