What can I expect from couples therapy? Well, many things. I chose this quote from Amy Shumer because she touches on a common disagreement that couples have, whose issue is it? When a couple decides to start therapy, more often than not, they have reached an impasse on certain issues and behaviors. A licensed therapist will unearth the origins of these behaviors and get to the heart of the issues that plague a partnership. In this post, I would like to debunk some myths about what to expect from couples therapy.
Couple’s Therapy will prove I am right.
Therapy is not about who is right and who is wrong in an argument or around an issue. It would be much easier if someone were right or wrong, but it is not nearly that simple. Many times there are underlying issues that create and recreate situations in a relationship that exists independently from the partnership. No partner is right or wrong the solution is in the grey area.
Therapy will change my partner.
Therapy will change both partners, provided they are looking to change. You cannot change anyone. In order to experience a more fulfilling partnership, both members need to accept each other and commit to growing in a direction that is beneficial to each other. What therapy can change is the way you communicate with your partner and how you understand how your behavior affects your partner.
One session will cure …….. (insert infidelity, trauma, issue)
A few things are wrong with the above blanket statement. First, therapy is not a cure, it is a methodology. Through talking about issues with a neutral trained third party, you can gain a better understanding of your partner. Second, most issues require multiple sessions to see progress and get to the heart of the issue or behavior. However, even one session is beneficial.
What can I learn from One Session of Couple’s Therapy?
Just one session of couple’s therapy is like popping the hood on a smoking car. You free the air so an engine can breathe. Once you begin talking about your feelings and issues in an open non-judgemental space, you take an important first step towards healing and moving your partnership forward in a positive direction.
What are you waiting for?
I see couple’s in all types of pair bonds or polyamorous situations and take clients 7 days a week. Whether you are looking to get past an infidelity or you are reliving the trauma in parts of your relationship, I can help sort through each partner’s feelings to move into a more loving and safe space. Contact my office for a session and listen to my podcast for all things couples, issues, and therapy! www.undressingtheissue.com